What happened to Chris Sligh?
Not literally, of course, because we already know the answer to that: He got kicked off "American Idol" Wednesday night, on the heels of a pretty shabby version of the Police's "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic." But for someone who entered the "Idol" fray so promisingly, so hilariously, struggling through the finals and then ending up in 10th place seemed a diminished, too-brief coda. It was as if he lost himself somewhere along the way, and never got comfortable in the finals.
The show was the worse for it. As the farewell clip montage reminded me, the curly-topped Greenville, S.C. resident was supposed to bring chubby back (back farther, that is). He was supposed to make David Hasselhoff cry! Instead, all he got to do was "sing us out." (Related thought: As the number of contestants dwindles, I guess we'll be seeing more of that from now on. Argh.) But at least Chris left us with one final nugget of humor. As he sang and hugged his fellow contestants, he interrupted himself to settle a score with Phil, who also ended up in this week's bottom three, but survived. "You owe me 5o bucks," he said.
Though I'm not sure exactly what that wager was, I can guess. Another safe bet? This week's bottom three of Phil, Chris Sligh and Haley, a pretty appropriate group, for the most part. A grateful Phil was sent back to the stands first, though I still maintain he's biding his time there. Then, as Chris and Haley (like the cheese) stood alone, Seacrest made the mistake/purposefully time-wasting move of asking the judges who they thought was going home. As usual, the noncommittal twins hemmed and hawed: "I dunno man, it's really a tough call at this point, Ry, I dunno dawg, it's a hard call, I dunno," Randy elucidated. "Uh, never a fun time, never a fun time," Paula said. "I think you both deserve really great warmth from the audience, love --" At this point, Seacrest completely cut her off (a skill he ought to continue practicing, by the way). "Here comes some candor from Simon, I'm sure," he interjected. But of course: "I think it's bye-bye curly," Cowell said, presumably meaning Chris, although Haley was also sporting curly locks at the time. Dependably enough, he was right.
Oh, and there's got to be something I'm forgetting. What could it be? Ah, yes. Not only is Sanjaya (sans fauxhawk last night, mercifully) still with us, he wasn't even in the bottom three. At this particular point in time, it's useless to get all indignant about that fact. Voting for Sanjaya is like getting a drunken tattoo (I figure, though not from personal experience), then waking up in the morning to discover it contains a misspelling: At a certain point the novelty is bound to disappear. Similarly, Sanjaya's day o' reckoning will come - perhaps even pretty soon, if the tepid applause news of his survival received is any measure. There are, after all, only so many more hairstyles the guy can audition, or at least one has to hope.
Was it just me, or... did Chris Richardson look a lot more attractive all decked out in Old West bad-boy mode in this week's commercial, "I Fought the Law"? And while we're on the subject, how was it he was the one person who (from the looks of it, unless it was 100% a stunt double) got to ride a horse? Eh well ...
Sweet indeed: No offense to my beloved choreographed "Idol" group routines, but I think I could actually get used to the guest performances if they were all as first-rate as Gwen Stefani's "Sweet Escape." What with costumed backup dancers circling, arms waving, Akon (of, among other things, "Smack That" infamy) psyching up the crowd and contributing backup "whoo-ooo," and pop's golden girl at the center, it was a sunny display of star power.
It must have been with her: Gina looked mighty crestfallen when Seacrest delivered the news that either she or Chris Sligh was in the bottom three, but she - and her T-shirt reading "GFORCE" - pulled through. As they should have, considering her fab performance Tuesday.
"AI," now with added mega-corporate affiliation! If "American Idol" is indeed the Death Star - hey, not my words; rival TV executives said it - then you could say they've just recruited a new storm trooper of sorts, what with Seacrest announcing a big, big oil company is now on board the whole "Idol Gives Back" train. What big oil company? Aw, now you know answering that would just be playing right into their hands. ;-)
Next week: It's Tony Bennett time, which bodes well; the show always seems to rise to the occasion on such nights.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
What happened to Chris Sligh?