Thursday, March 23, 2006

Kevin, the sky has fallen

Chicken Little, the sky - er, curtain - has really fallen. Yes, Wednesday, 16-year-old Kevin Covais departed "American Idol," leaving the show with a dork deficiency...and serious confusion among the "granny voters" who apparently formed Kev's key constituency. Where will they transfer their loyalties now that their boy is gone? (Fingers crossed hoping Ace isn't the beneficiary!)

"Chicken Little leaves us!" Ryan Seacrest said after breaking the news, giving the Kevin a big hug. "What are we going to do without you?" Ah, I'm sure they'll find a way to go on somehow, just struggling along week after week with the many promising finalists that remain. Besides, this was probably just about the right time for Kevin to hit the trail. If he'd stuck around any longer, that whole "why, why are you still here?" syndrome may have struck.

In typically self-deprecating fashion, Kevin said he hopes people will look back and say "Remember that skinny, nerdy kid from season five? He had some talent." Mission accomplished. Now, homeward bound - high school musicals await!

The night's notes:

Note to self - find a new job coach: For the second night in a row, Paula offered career advice to "Idol" finalists. Considering her always-insightful commentary and charmed career as a Laker girl, late-'80s dance-pop star and, well, whatever it was she did between 1992 and 2002, I'm sure this meant a lot to the contestants. Tuesday, Paula said she saw a big career in Lisa Tucker's future. (Lisa finished third from the bottom in this week's voting.) Wednesday, Paula told the night's bottom two - Kevin and Bucky - that "the experience of this show is that people go onto great success whether you win or not," then cited Bo Bice, Clay Aiken and Season 3's big-voiced Jennifer Hudson as examples. (Aw, what, no Jim Verraros and Camile Velasco? And wasn't that Ryan Starr hangin' in the land of the washed-up known as "The Surreal Life"?) Point taken, kind of, but Bo and Clay finished second - otherwise known as "a lot better than 11th." Jennifer's not a real examplary testament to the nation's musical acumen, either, considering she was unceremoniously booted midway through the Year of John Stevens, coming in 7th despite obvious superiority to most of her opponents. Remember who finished above her? Anyway, apparently she's now moved on to a movie role...

Speaking of selflessness: Ryan Seacrest complimented Barry Manilow for flying in specially to make last-minute musical checks on the arrangements and band Monday, then coming back to sing Wednesday. Yep, it is a pretty major sacrifice to appear on the #1 TV show in the nation - 33 million viewers, baby! - when you totally coincidentally have a new album out. (Did we mention it's '50s themed? Well, if not, Seacrest sure did!)

Do I smell a host-off? Seacrest may be a polished pro, but Manilow knows a thing or two about commanding a stage, too. During the introduction to his performance of "Love Is a Many Splendored Thing," I could've sworn he was giving Ryan a run for his money. In fact, I'd almost say he out-Seacrested Seacrest, but...well, it takes a lot to venture all the way out on that limb.

And you thought (hoped?) you'd never see him again! Hey look, it's That Guy Who Sang "Copacabana" in the semifinals, rushing onstage to meet Barry Manilow. "Idol," you have a heart of gold for letting this man return...and in a fashion just as ridiculous as that in which he departed, no less!

Sign o' the night: "Barry, U are my American Idol" (Alas, he's well over the show's age limit.)

Now'd be the time for a blonde joke: We know all about her tarantula eyelashes, the shoes she bought on sale, and the seam she felt like she was going to bust. Wednesday, Kellie Pickler's chronic verbal diarrhea continued. Aw, Kellie, don't you know you're not supposed to respond to Seacrest during the "you're safe" part of the show? And yet, there you were, toothily, obtusely asking "Whas'a ballsy?" after Seacrest told you Simon thought your performance was "sexy" and "ballsy"...

Is it just the hair? During the show I decided that Ace looks kind of, sort of like that guy from "Joe Millionaire," but I guess not everyone's seeing that. Or, at least, one of my fellow "Idol" consultants informed me she wasn't seeing it. Perhaps I'm misguided. Perhaps I need a performance show rather than a filler-packed results night to keep my mind from wandering...especially in the direction of bad, bad, awful reality shows. Perhaps...I'll see you next week!


Anonymous said...

You are forgetting Taylor Hicks as the remaining contestant who qualifies as a dork. However, at least he knows how to sing.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, but Bucky is terrible. At least Kevin could sing on key. I would bet the house Bucky gets the boot next week.

Anonymous said...

I have played back the results several times and Kelly said "It wasn't ballsy" responding to Ryans question if that is what Simon said. Everyone wants to make her sound dumber than she is.