Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Tucker-ed out

This week's American Idol punishment deftly fit the crime: Any contestant electing to sing a Kelly Clarkson song on the show, as Lisa Tucker did for Tuesday's abysmal "Music of the 21st Century" night, is just asking to be kicked off. Sure enough, America obliged, and the 16-year-old is on her way home.

Ever the true pro, Lisa remained eerily smiley and composed while standing at the middle of the stage, waiting for Ryan Seacrest to read the results. Once she got kicked off, Paris cried harder than she did.

Contrast that with Lisa's companion in the bottom two, Katharine McPhee, who appeared she'd suffered a blow and was doing all she could to hold herself together. Then again, perhaps Lisa's poise came from experience - she'd been in the bottom three the past two weeks, too. (Ace, incidentally, was the week's third-lowest vote-getter.)

Now, to some notes.

How was Bucky not in the bottom three? No, seriously, I want to know: Even if he probably didn't deserve to get kicked off tonight, per se, how did he end up avoiding the Seacrest-enforced march to the middle of the stage?

Watch and learn, sorta: Wonder how the judges would have analyzed Shakira and Wyclef Jean's performance of "Hips Don't Lie," which had Jean sporting a Fugees t-shirt (ha!) and Shakira sporting the ever popular mermaid-belly dancer look (awesomely messy, curly hair; sparkly bra top; long, flowy blue skirt that doubled as a dance prop). Say what you will about Shakira's often-unusual music and questionable English vocabulary, but the one thing she ain't is cookie-cutter. Tell me, do you think she and 'Clef really made that song their own?

Naw, it couldn't have been! Was that really Justin Guarini, sans the Sideshow Bob hair, in the audience last night? If so, he was in the right place: Not on a stage, and not singing. :-)

Shameless plugs, Seacrest-style: "What could be cooler than getting a sneak peek of Fox's new movie, 'Ice Age: The Meltdown'?" Seacrest cheerfully asked in a voice-over, as contestants piled out of a golf cart in front of a movie studio. Uh, well, we could think of a few things, Ry...

Hyperbole, Seacrest-style: After kicking off Lisa, Seacrest called her "one of the greatest contestants I've ever seen on American Idol." Probably not a whole lot of consolation, considering, but goodness me...

Cheese 1, Ace 0: Maybe we shouldn't be surprised by this, but Ace sure does seem to revel in Idol's cheesy side - check him out looking way too excited to be in that commercial to "Give a Little Love."

Creeping commercialism, chapter 548: The "Idol" show featured a performance of "Hips Don't Lie" and a plug for the upcoming "Ice Age" movie. The commercials during the "Idol" show featured...a performance of "Hips Don't Lie" and two plugs for the upcoming "Ice Age" movie. Uh huh.

Next week: "Idol" goes country. Here's guessing Kellie and Bucky's hearts aren't too achy-breaky about that...


Anonymous said...

RANDY: OK, Shakira, so dawg, as much as I love you, you was just off tonight. It just didn't do it for me, dawg.

PAULA (standing and clapping clumsily): Shakira, that was probably the greatest performance in Idol history and I really, really want to look at your scars.

SIMON (staring bitterly at Paula): That was HORRENDOUS. This is American Idol, not Latin Dance Night. And your styling! Who is doing your hair!

Jen Aronoff said...

Wow, that's awesome! Looks like someone's been watching enough "Idol" to know exactly how the show's fearsome judging trio would react...